


A Hot Mess meets a -Hot- Mess

by Potato_Being



Series: Dragon Crisis [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Dragons, Forsworn, Gen, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-04-15
Packaged: 2018-10-19 08:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10636191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Potato_Being/pseuds/Potato_Being
Summary: Why should a Forsworn scout care about a heavily-armoured nord? Malen wonders that every day.Details the first interactions between a dragonborn who doesn't even know what he is, the breton who calls it long before he does, and the dragon fight that brings them together.





	

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's got another series. here's another series.  
> Working Title: Malen, or how to kill a relationship from the get-go, potentially also kill your partner

Malen is a mess. It's obvious, but worth stating. She runs into battle, a scavenged Alinor sabre in her hand, and casts destruction magic wildly. Some of the spells she's not even sure of, what they do, where they came from, or why she has them. She just does, words and movements coming to her when necessary.

She is fast, strong, everything a Forsworn scout should be. She knows the roads, knows the trails, knows the terrain, and if anyone can cut out a day's travel by climbing over a mountain it's her.

When she meets Liam it's because she's working on robbing him. Or killing him. It's a mix of goals.

He's knocked to the ground, unable to raise his shield quickly enough. It's a long thin dragon bone one, strapped to his arm, she notes. Not one he holds. She punches him in the face, raising a dagger to stab him, and he looks up at her with both fear and a resignation she doesn't expect a nord to have. It confuses her, and Malen hates being confused.

"What?" She snaps, dagger still above the nord's neck. "You want to die or something? What the fuck? You sure you're a nord? You sure you're--"

"Please stop talking. Please just stab me or back off." He says. He sounds dehydrated. Malen is more confused by his attitude. The next thing to happen when she's confused is to then get angry. She snarls at him, spinning the knife to hit him in the face with the pommel and stands up, furious.

"Why the fuck you ready to die? What the fuck?" she snaps. He just looks tired. She tries to place his age, and all she comes up with is 'old'. His face is lined, deep bags hang under his eyes, and his skin has an almost yellow complexion. He looks sick. "You one of Peryite's people? An Afflicted? Just infected me with some shit? You vomit up green on me I'll skin you alive." He shakes his head. "Okay dipshit. Thanks for the gold, by the way." She takes his coin pouch, shoves it in her belt bag, and then runs for the steep cliffs, climbing them and escaping. She turns to glance back at the nord, who slowly gets to his feet, but doesn't follow her. He continues on the road he had been taking. Malen resists the urge to keep screaming at him, and settles for remembering that he's a nord and nords are weird.

She meets the weird nord again when she's hunting a dragon for no other reason than 'it's a dragon and I want to see if I can kill it'. Said dragon is less than enthused about her shooting it with a stolen bow, and tries to burn her alive. It fails, mainly because she's faster than a dragon, and hides in a ruined building. The nord shows up, sword drawn and shield up. He looks a little more lively than before, which isn't saying much. Malen watches eagerly as he swings at the dragon as it lands, and as he slashes open its wing joint it knocks him aside with a vicious head swipe. He flies back ten feet, landing hard, and Malen wonders if his default state is 'on the ground'. He's gasping for air as the dragon approaches him, and Malen has a rare moment of generosity she's sure she'll regret later on as she hits the dragon in the eye with another arrow. The nord struggles to his feet as the dragon screams and heads for Malen's hiding spot, and the nord brings down his sword on the thing's neck five times. The dragon glows and vaporises, and the nord glows. Malen watches as the nord, now obviously one of those 'dragonborn' nords never shut up about, falls to the ground, exhausted. She walks towards him, staring down with annoyance.

"You're a fucking dragonborn? You're pretty useless." She informs him. He looks up at her on his hands and knees, chest heaving for breath. "Pretty miserable looking. You look like a dog. A beaten dog." He doesn't respond. Malen wonders if he'd fight should she declare him property. He seems docile enough. She decides to wait on that option, for now just mocking him. "So what? You no longer able to talk? Got a name?"

"Liam." He croaks out. Still dehydrated. So the dragonborn is probably going to die of thirst shortly. Malen's not a nord, and she's by no means religious, but she's heard nords talking about the end times, and that big black dragon that destroyed Helgen? Apparently Alduin, ready to destroy the world. So Malen decides to keep that from happening. Namely by making sure this wreck of a dragonborn doesn't die before he's supposed to. She grabs him, wrapping her arms under his shoulders, and hauls him towards the cliff wall, dropping him to the ground.

"What are you doing?" Liam asks.

"Keeping the world alive, dumbass." Malen replies, and forces water down his throat. He chokes on it, staring at her with more fear than anything else, and when she hands him bread he looks incredulous.

"Why?"

"Keeping the world alive. You're on your last legs, probably gonna die. You die, and we all die."

"What are you talking about?" He looks confused. She stares at him.

"You just absorbed a whole dragon."

"That's what dragons do."

"No they fucking don't." Malen tells him.

"I'm not… I'm not responsible for an entire province, what are you talking about?"

"You're a nord, right? Just absorbed a dragon, right? You're wandering around while there's a big World-Eater destroying shit, right?" Liam looks more confused as she talks. "You're the fucking Dragonborn, dipshit." Liam is stunned.

"How did you get to that conclusion?"

"Because apparently I'm not an idiot, unlike some people." Malen snaps. "Why the fuck you up here fighting a dragon if you're not dragonborn?"

"It's hurting people. Or was. Hurting people. It's my job. I protect people."

"Oh boy, you're one of those." Malen says flatly.

"One of what?"

"A do-gooder. A knight. A paragon of virtue. Bet you refuse coin as well."

"No one has much."

"Yeah, thought that'd be your answer. Look asshole, you're the fucking dragonborn, and you're going to figure out how to stop this dragon nonsense before more people die. Got it?" Malen asks. Liam nods. "Good. I'm going with you, by the way. Since you apparently can't take care of yourself. Got that?" another nod. "Eat your fucking bread." Malen orders, and steps away from him, wondering what she's thrown herself into.

**Author's Note:**

> am i just as sarcastic here as in every other end notes? yes. welcome to hell.


End file.
